You don’t have to be a gajillionaire guest of the Ashford Castle hotel in Cong, County Mayo, to revel in its five-star glory. The property, set on 350 lush green acres, dates to 1228 and is the home of Ireland’s first school of falconry. (Falconry!) Afternoon tea has been taken here since 1868 and is open to everyone—even plebs like you. For €34 a person ($38 USD), you get the full Downton Abbey experience: your choice of black, green, white, oolong, or infusion tea served with appropriate pomp and circumstance; a selection of foofy crust-free finger sandwiches; warm scones with strawberry jam, lemon curd, and clotted cream; and enough two-bite pastries to induce a diabetic coma. Tea goes down every day at 1:30, 2, 3:30, and 4 p.m., but keep it classy by making advance reservations.
Connaught Room at Ashford Castle, Cong, Co. Mayo, Ireland; +353-94-954-6003.